Slow TV and Rambo: First Blood (1982) Movie Reviews

1. Slow TV: Bergen to Oslo (2009)

Run Time: 7.5 Hours (the actual length of the entire train ride)

Synopsis:

Actual footage of the entire trip from Bergen to Oslo. No cuts…..no editing….no score……nothing. Just 100% complete coverage of the train ride. Basically a camera mounted to the front of the train.

Review:

0/10 Beer Cans

Slow TV is a very accurate name. With a run time of 7.5 hours, it’s a marathon. This genre of television originates from Norway and the Norwegians call it “Sakte TV” or what we in the West refer to as, “a complete waste of time.”

Apparently, this concept was inspired by Andy Warhol’s slow movie Sleep (1963) which showed poet John Giorno sleeping for 5 hours and 20 minutes.

Unless you have nothing better to do with your life, WE DO NOT RECOMMEND WATCHING THIS MOVIE. 

2. Rambo: First Blood (1982)

Director: Ted Kotcheff (Canadian…..woohoo!)

Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna

Synopsis:

Vietnam Vet John Rambo (Sylvester Stallone) travels to a small town in an attempt to reconnect with one of his old friends from the war. After finding out that his friend passed away, he continues to travel, wandering into the small town of Hope (cough, cough….ironic!). He’s greeted and escorted out of town by Sheriff Will Teasle (Brian Dennehy).

Rambo refuses to leave the town and so he’s arrested and taken into custody at the police station. There he suffers from a flashback and his PTSD kicks in. He fights off a number of officers and escapes the station. The remainder of the film is a man-hunt and John Rambo shows off his kick-ass military combat skills.

Review:

5/10 Beer Cans

Terry: ” It’s a classic but I’m not sure why. Mindless action like Stallone taking out helicopters with a rock….and bazooka’s…..and lots and lots of explosions. I guess this was the beginning of the 80’s action era where we saw beefcake’s like Dolph Londgren and Arnold Schwarzeneggar become household names.”

Jordan: ” The beginning of the movie was full of action and so was the end. The middle dragged on too much. A lot of ‘dramatic/serious’ scenes missed their mark. I think the rest of the Rambo franchise realized that these movies are just about the action. No one takes them seriously. They’re just fun.”

Bottom line, it’s a fun movie to watch! Check it out.

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Jordan Randall

Co-Creator of The Netflix and Chill Show, Filmmaker, and Musician.

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