Swelter (2014) Movie Review

Director: Keith Parmer (also directed a horrible movie in 2010 called Mob Rules)

Cast: Jean-Claude Van Damme (Bloodsport), Alfred Molina (Spiderman 2 as “Doc Ock”), Lennie James (The Walking Dead)

Synopsis:

Ten years after their casino heist, four escaped convicts trace their former partner to a desert town, where he is now a lawman with no memory of his criminal past.

Review:

2/10 Beer Cans

Jordan: They have these ill-conceived Chunking Express slow-motion shots that really don’t work. There’s zero lighting. In fact, they used the headlights from cars in one scene and a lot of natural light. Some of the shots didn’t make any sense. I don’t know who edited this piece of shit movie but why would you cut to a reaction shot of a taxidermy rabbit or deer? It was funny though that they had like 20 showdowns. LOL!

Charlie: This movie was definitely cheaply shot. This is NOT an action movie! You’d think that with Jean-Claude Van Damme you’d at least get to see some action but you don’t! SPOILER: He has like 5 lines in the movie and then gets killed. You could cut out his character entirely and it wouldn’t have made a difference.

Dave: There’s a scene where the bad guys slowly roll up to a roadblock and blast away all of the cops. So ridiculous! But also hilarious. My favorite scene is where the guy has a velcro shirt and tie on and just rips it off in the church for some reason.

Verdict: Terrible movie! Don’t watch it. Jean-Claude Van Damme is hardly in the movie and there really isn’t much action.

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Jordan Randall

Co-Creator of The Netflix and Chill Show, Filmmaker, and Musician.

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