Netflix Horror: The Halloween Episode
Director: Nicholas McCarthy
Cast: Caity Lotz (Arrow TV Series), Casper Van Dien (Starship Troopers), Mark Steger (The Monster in Stranger Things)
In wake of her mother’s death and the disappearance of her sister, Annie (Caity Lotz) undergoes some unsettling and supernatural phenomena while re-visiting her childhood home.
3/10 Beer Cans
Terry: “Had some jump scares and it was filmed well. Surprised Caity Lotz has had a pretty decent acting career. Aside from her boobs, nothing really stands out.”
Dave: “It was just a bad horror movie. It was campy and/or funny. Tried to take itself seriously but it really didn’t deliver anything substantial.”
Jordan: “Nicely shot. Probably featured some of the better performances from the movies we reviewed today. But I’d have to agree with Dave, it didn’t really deliver any real horror. There were maybe a handful of cool shots. That’s it.”
Verdict, SKIP this movie. It’s not worth your time.
Director: Eytan Rockaway (Last thing he did was a short film….so you know this is going to be good!)
Cast: Louisa Krause (Billions TV Series), Mark Margolis ( The decrepit guy with the bell in Breaking Bad), Jason Patric (Speed 2)
A woman named Streak (Louisa Krouse) takes a job as a security guard, working the graveyard shift alongside a grumpy old man in a wheelchair. On his first night on the job, she decides to take things into her own hands and starts breaking the rules. She let’s a homeless man inside and decides to wonder around the abandoned apartment complex. As she walks around in the darkness, she discovers that she may not be alone.
Terry: ” These are the kinds of movies that give the horror genre a bad rap. This movie tries too hard to have twists, as if to wow and amaze us so that we’re left gawking at the writer’s brilliance. The plot is poor and lacking. We, as the audience, don’t develop any sympathy for the characters and so we don’t really care what happens to them. In the end, I was hoping that someone would just kill them all so that we could put an end to this shitty movie.”
Jordan: ” This movie was dark…..literally. Sometimes it was hard to make out what was happening. So not only did the plot suck but, the visuals were pretty awful too.”
Dave: ” On the bright side, this movie was so bad that it had some funny moments. By far the best moment of the film was John Merrick’s cameo appearance. We had a good laugh. I don’t know if the filmmaker intended that to happen though. This movie just didn’t make any sense.”
3. Exeter (2015)
Director: Marcus Nispel (did a bunch of remakes: Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Friday the 13th, Conan the Barbarian)
Cast: Stephen Lang (Avatar), Kevin Chapman, Kelly Blatz (NOT a female, actually a guy)
A bunch of teenagers have a party at an abandoned mental asylum. One of them gets possessed by an evil spirit and they try to save him.
4/10 Beer Cans
Terry: “It’s stupid but it has some funny moments. I mean these kids do heroine the very next morning after the party……like, who wrote this? That’s not a party, that’s a problem. This is a movie you can watch with your friends on Halloween and have some laughs.”
Dave: “This was the best movie we watched today. It’s a movie that doesn’t take itself seriously. But it’s still far from being a good movie.”
Jordan: “Some great makeup and practical effects. I would agree with you guys that this movie was the easiest to watch. SPOILER: priest gets hit by a car. HILARIOUS!”
Verdict: When you’re partying hard at an abandoned mental asylum this Halloween, you can play this movie in the background. It’s good for a few laughs.
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