I’m a HUGE horror fan and I’ve put together my two favorite things into one awesome list: Netflix and Chill + Horror = The Best Netflix and Chill Horror Movies.
Nothing gets a girl in your arms quicker than a good horror flick. But what happens if the movie has no plot or it’s filled with just plain dumb, senseless violence? She’s going to leave. And she’s going to be pissed off at you.
So here is a list of some films that won’t make your bae fuck some next man who invites her over to watch an episode of “Friends”:
The Top 10 Netflix and Chill Horror Movies:
1. The Invitation
A horror movie of great acclaim, but minus the guts and gore. It leans more toward the “psychological thriller” genre which is the perfect middle-ground for men and women. The film keeps a spooky atmosphere so your girl can cower in your arms, anxiously awaiting the horror to unfold. It also stars the sexy Logan Marshall-Green who will definitely get your girl all sexed up and ready to go. This will work especially well if you are an ugly fuck. Don’t tune out of this movie too soon or you’ll miss some of the twists and turns, which will also provide for some above average post-coital dialogue.
2. The Fly (1958)
The original 50’s version of The Fly is a great place to get your feet wet. And your dick wet. You see, this Vincent Price classic is a tale that can’t be overlooked as legitimately terrifying but because of it’s campy, old school aesthetic it has become an easy target to make fun of. This is actually a good thing because it lets you to monitor your bae’s affection for horror… and her affection for comedy, which are two major emotions you’ll want determine in order to slip in with as little resistance as possible.
3. Cabin In The Woods
This movie is just downright fun. It combines scary with funny in the most original way and there is no shortage of either throughout this ride. Just mention the name Joss Whedon to your bae and her ears will definitely perk up, and possibly her nipples. If you’re a guy, you will be licking your lips at the body counts and oceans of blood pouring across the screen. If you’re a gal, you’ll be licking your lips at Chris Hemsworth. Either way… lips will be licked. If you don’t have any lips, I apologize.
4. Fright Night (2011)
A sub par remake to the original, this movie makes for a great date night. Sex appeal oozes from lead Colin Farrell who will make your bae want to immediately be turned into a vampire of the night. It’s also such a shit film, that you can totally go to town on your Netflix and Chill companion and not miss a single thing. Reflecting on Anton Yelchin’s death will surely keep you from cumming too soon.
5. Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension
Any film from the Paranormal Activity catalog will make for a good Netflix and Chill choice. This one is particularly good as it isn’t one of the better films of the series, hence missing out on the “story” will not be of any major concern. Most of the time in a Paranormal Activity movie, the audience’s fear levels are driven by scare gags like doors opening on their own, or loud noises startling the F out of you. This creates good tension and atmosphere, something that will without a doubt drive your bae into your warm, safe, cradling arms. If you can, turn the A/C on to get a chill going for extra snuggle points.
6. Would You Rather
This film is a fun “what would you do” film. It keeps the conversation between you and your bae and it’ll make you laugh. The film also conveniently stars Sasha Grey. This will come in handy when your bae asks, “Who is Sasha Grey?” to which you will look her in the eye and tell her without flinching that she is one of the most hardcore pornstars that have ever existed. She will delve deeper, no doubt, and inquest about what makes her porn so “hardcore” to which, again, you will tell her in all earnest. If she should recoil in disgust after hearing this, a simple “but I’m not into that” will diffuse any expectation of hardcore sex on the evening’s agenda but will still put thoughts and images in her mind. If she should react fondly to hearing of Sasha Grey’s sexual accomplishments, then it’s obviously on… as they say… like Donkey Kong.
Every girl deep down loves the idea of bromances. Maybe it’s because it’s cute, maybe because it’s sweet, or maybe because it’s just hilarious to see hetero males try to skate the line between gay and straight when it comes to friendship. This film is about bromance taken to an extreme where Mark Duplass plays a loner who latches onto a cameraman who has been hired to film him in his final days of life. He of course gets really “creep”y and begins to stalk and “creep” out the cameraman to an extent that will make anyone cringe. Which is great for you because, unless for some reason you are as creepy as Mark Duplass in this movie (in which case you shouldn’t have a bae anyway) you will end up looking like a saint in comparison.
8. Evil Dead (2013)
This remake is gorgeous, gory and filled with terror. It’s a little heavier on the blood than some of the other recommendations on this list but will work nevertheless. It’s production value will put your bae at ease, knowing that you’re not a retro-film nerd who can’t accept the potential for anything but the original. It will also put your bae at ease to see that the cast is a well assembled group of good looking youngsters. When the blood flows and the madness ensues, she might look away from the screen. But use this to your advantage by looking away too… at her. After some comforting words (i.e. “it’ll be over soon”) you might want to lean in for that kiss.
Everyone is spooked by creepy dolls, but none more so than females. This is because they actually grew up playing with dolls. Not only does the concept of a doll coming to life as an evil entity terrify on the surface, it debases their entire childhood. This is an amazing phenomenon as it will almost press a reset button in your bae’s mind allowing for you to re-sculpt it with your own mode of thinking. The film also adds a clever plot about a baby, which will get your bae’s hormones flowing.
This film is a fun watch but also works well in terms of demonstrating how decent of a human being you are to your bae. The film is about a deaf woman who is facing a home invasion by a masked assailant. The film jumps right into it, immediately leaving the door open for you to talk with your viewing partner about how difficult it must be to lose your hearing. Be empathetic. Tell her that we take so much for granted in life… like hearing. Make her aware that you don’t take the simple things in life for granted, tell her that you’re grateful for all that life has had to offer you… Especially this moment now, cozying up with your bae watching some Netflix. This should (unless she’s somehow immune) make your bae’s heart melt and grow ever fonder. Maybe throw in a line about how the worst thing that would happen to you if you lost your hearing would be the inability to hear her beautiful voice. The only people saying “hush” at this point will be your neighbours. Because of the loud sex you’ll be having. In case that wasn’t clear.
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